3.23.20
Coronavirus is just about in full swing here in NYC. As a nurse with disaster relief / medical mission experience, and generally just a curious person that tends to look at things from different angles, I have a lot to say about this. A LOT.
So, where do I start? The lack of supplies, personal protective equipment, hospital beds, or even bodies that are needed to save as many people as possible? The lack of negative pressure rooms? The fact that my hospital, and every hospital in NYC, has been rapidly turning over units into more and more COVID rooms? What about the lack of leadership and conditions we are working in in these “world class” hospitals? With that being said, do you even want to get me started on the poor guidelines by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) or, I mean, hey, the US government themselves?! The fact that us healthcare workers are basically being treated like cattle, running in for battle unarmed, the way a soldier would run into battle with a stick instead of a gun? What about another tiny aspect that is both essential and detrimental on our hospitals- banning visitors. And, don’t even get me started on the eerie tension that I began to feel both in and out of the workplace a few weeks ago. It’s like everyone is trying their best to keep it together, but if feels like everything- and anyone- could snap at a moment’s notice. Heck, my unit and I experienced this more than once already- being yelled at, bullied, and intimidated by administration for questioning report on a patient that was coming from a COVID ruleout unit. As a nurse currently working on a unit with immunocompromised patients, we were told we were the last unit to get COVID patients? Or wait, was that the update from just under 24 hours ago, now I’m not sure which one is the most current, since policy is changing day to day, hour to hour, I can’t keep up anymore, and that tiny little aspect in itself can be draining and frustrating for healthcare workers.
Or, should I go the more “non-healthcare” route? The potential looting that could happen as more and more Americans- especially, New Yorkers, may resort to after weeks, maybe months, of having to be cooped up indoors? The lack of safety and security on the streets as us “essential workers” are forced to continue to commute to work via the now-little-utilized public transportation to save people? What about the 100s-1000s of Americans who are now unemployed? The businesses that have been forced to shut down? The mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, that we have already began to see as a result of an uncontrolled pandemic and social isolation becomes a thing that actually really needs to happen, despite what some crazy people may think.
The list goes on and on. While you address one effect that COVID has had on one tiny thing- whether it’s healthcare, economy, or personal- every single thing opens up a door to a myriad of other problems. Sigh. So, you can see why I’ve delayed writing about this for a few weeks now, when things were so, so different. When we were just beginning to hear about the hospitals in Italy and how overrun they were. When New York City got their first Coronavirus case- a healthcare worker who had recently returned from Iran with her partner and who took (mostly) proper measures upon her arrival, knowing about COVID-19 and recognizing her symptoms? When everyone was still going to work, planning trips, meeting with friends for dinner, and enjoying a nice basketball game in the park on a sunny Saturday afternoon.
I hate to admit it, but even I initially underestimated the power of COVID. But, it wasn’t just me- it was the healthcare workers around me, too. A guy I was seeing, the Chief of Emergency Medicine at a local urban hospital- even thought it was a bit overrated. Just over a week ago, the same Physician abruptly departed on an international flight to be with his parents- “I’m not taking any of this lightly. It’s happening in clusters,” he texted me as he boarded his plane to the other side of the world indefinitely. I replied that I felt scared and lonely, adding in a picture of my recent disaster relief mission to the Bahamas. Suddenly, reality set in- instead of treating people in undeveloped countries or post-natural disaster around the world, I was about to be in my country’s own disaster. Even more surreal, it was happening in my own city, one of the most energetic cities in the world. One that will last much longer and whose devastation will affect each and every one of us for many years to come. That was the day that COVID was officially declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization. That was the day that I realized that our lives were about to change dramatically.
In the weeks since COVID went from being “uh oh, maybe we should begin to take this seriously” to hearing about our first diagnosis in the US to seeing how rapidly it has spread around our country... so much has happened since then. Every hospital in New York City, and many around the country, are beginning to open mobile tents designated for coronavirus patients. Hospital units are rapidly turning into designated COVID units. They are asking us to increase our capacity by 50-100%. By the way, most hospitals have been barely functioning at capacity, even before the coronavirus. Over recent years, hospital administration has taken away more and more employee lounges and staff offices, transitioning them into more hospital units. Again, this is pre-coronavirus, so you can see how little space these hospitals have to begin with, right? Major NYC hospitals are handing their employees a brown bag as they enter the building. This bag contains one face shield and one N-95 mask and is meant to stay with you for the entire twelve hour shift. They are discussing ways to reuse the masks at the end of the day, instructing staff to hand their little paper bag in at shift change, so they can clean its contents and hand them to the next person. They are making policies more and more dangerous for the healthcare worker due to the lack of personal protective equipment and supplies. Yet, they tell the public that “currently, we have enough supplies.” Cough, cough. Pun intended.
But that’s not it. Remember, we’re just at the beginning. Nurses and other healthcare staff are repeatedly exposed to known patients with coronavirus due to the constant change in hospital policy, allowing more lenient usage of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) in an attempt to save on their supply. Us healthcare workers will undoubtedly save your life, for sure- but unfortunately, we are also the vectors to this illness. Us in the healthcare industry all know and accept that we are probably all carriers. Hell, we may even have it right now! And, what difference would it make? All the local hospitals I know of are denying COVID testing to its workers, even those with known exposure. We are told to report straight back to work, unless we become symptomatic. I’m pretty fortunate, as I live alone and do not have a significant other (but, oh, how we all wish we had someone to snuggle with right now, am I right!?) But, what about the 100s of other healthcare workers, who, on top of this constant exposure and unsafe policy, then have to leave their shifts- to return to their families at the end of the day? What about those of us with little children? What about the ones who care for other members of their family, like the elderly and immunocompromised? We cannot get them sick. And, we cannot get sick ourselves. It’s a lose-lose situation, unfortunately. If my co-workers are fortunate, maybe they have an empty bedroom that they can isolate in for two weeks. Maybe they have a friend who has also returned home to family and will let you stay in his empty apartment. Hey, as the weather gets warm, maybe some can even sleep in their cars to get avoid infecting their loved ones. My hospital has recently announced discounted hotel rates at major Manhattan hotels- so, these caregivers can cough up the extra bucks (again, pun intended) as a backwards punishment of being exposed, even though it was completely out of their control? And they wonder why we’re asking for hazard pay.
Do you understand how detrimental all of this is?
By denying your own hospital staff proper PPE, you literally are pushing soldiers into a warzone without any armor or weapons. How could you possibly expect them to do their duties? The dire- and I mean, dire, need for PPE could not be any simpler.
In a few weeks, I will be stepping into the warzone myself- the Emergency Room. I made this decision a few months ago, before COVID-19 sprang out of its infancy. As I try to prepare myself mentally, physically, and emotionally, I cannot help but focus on the cascade of problems that confront us every day that seem to be setting us up for complete destruction. I’d like to look at this more positively, but there are just so many issues that just pile on top of one another. One thing is for sure- we all need to be kind to one another right now. Because, if you think it’s bad right now, trust me- it’s going to get worse- very, very soon.
Or, should I go the more “non-healthcare” route? The potential looting that could happen as more and more Americans- especially, New Yorkers, may resort to after weeks, maybe months, of having to be cooped up indoors? The lack of safety and security on the streets as us “essential workers” are forced to continue to commute to work via the now-little-utilized public transportation to save people? What about the 100s-1000s of Americans who are now unemployed? The businesses that have been forced to shut down? The mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, that we have already began to see as a result of an uncontrolled pandemic and social isolation becomes a thing that actually really needs to happen, despite what some crazy people may think.
The list goes on and on. While you address one effect that COVID has had on one tiny thing- whether it’s healthcare, economy, or personal- every single thing opens up a door to a myriad of other problems. Sigh. So, you can see why I’ve delayed writing about this for a few weeks now, when things were so, so different. When we were just beginning to hear about the hospitals in Italy and how overrun they were. When New York City got their first Coronavirus case- a healthcare worker who had recently returned from Iran with her partner and who took (mostly) proper measures upon her arrival, knowing about COVID-19 and recognizing her symptoms? When everyone was still going to work, planning trips, meeting with friends for dinner, and enjoying a nice basketball game in the park on a sunny Saturday afternoon.
I hate to admit it, but even I initially underestimated the power of COVID. But, it wasn’t just me- it was the healthcare workers around me, too. A guy I was seeing, the Chief of Emergency Medicine at a local urban hospital- even thought it was a bit overrated. Just over a week ago, the same Physician abruptly departed on an international flight to be with his parents- “I’m not taking any of this lightly. It’s happening in clusters,” he texted me as he boarded his plane to the other side of the world indefinitely. I replied that I felt scared and lonely, adding in a picture of my recent disaster relief mission to the Bahamas. Suddenly, reality set in- instead of treating people in undeveloped countries or post-natural disaster around the world, I was about to be in my country’s own disaster. Even more surreal, it was happening in my own city, one of the most energetic cities in the world. One that will last much longer and whose devastation will affect each and every one of us for many years to come. That was the day that COVID was officially declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization. That was the day that I realized that our lives were about to change dramatically.
In the weeks since COVID went from being “uh oh, maybe we should begin to take this seriously” to hearing about our first diagnosis in the US to seeing how rapidly it has spread around our country... so much has happened since then. Every hospital in New York City, and many around the country, are beginning to open mobile tents designated for coronavirus patients. Hospital units are rapidly turning into designated COVID units. They are asking us to increase our capacity by 50-100%. By the way, most hospitals have been barely functioning at capacity, even before the coronavirus. Over recent years, hospital administration has taken away more and more employee lounges and staff offices, transitioning them into more hospital units. Again, this is pre-coronavirus, so you can see how little space these hospitals have to begin with, right? Major NYC hospitals are handing their employees a brown bag as they enter the building. This bag contains one face shield and one N-95 mask and is meant to stay with you for the entire twelve hour shift. They are discussing ways to reuse the masks at the end of the day, instructing staff to hand their little paper bag in at shift change, so they can clean its contents and hand them to the next person. They are making policies more and more dangerous for the healthcare worker due to the lack of personal protective equipment and supplies. Yet, they tell the public that “currently, we have enough supplies.” Cough, cough. Pun intended.
But that’s not it. Remember, we’re just at the beginning. Nurses and other healthcare staff are repeatedly exposed to known patients with coronavirus due to the constant change in hospital policy, allowing more lenient usage of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) in an attempt to save on their supply. Us healthcare workers will undoubtedly save your life, for sure- but unfortunately, we are also the vectors to this illness. Us in the healthcare industry all know and accept that we are probably all carriers. Hell, we may even have it right now! And, what difference would it make? All the local hospitals I know of are denying COVID testing to its workers, even those with known exposure. We are told to report straight back to work, unless we become symptomatic. I’m pretty fortunate, as I live alone and do not have a significant other (but, oh, how we all wish we had someone to snuggle with right now, am I right!?) But, what about the 100s of other healthcare workers, who, on top of this constant exposure and unsafe policy, then have to leave their shifts- to return to their families at the end of the day? What about those of us with little children? What about the ones who care for other members of their family, like the elderly and immunocompromised? We cannot get them sick. And, we cannot get sick ourselves. It’s a lose-lose situation, unfortunately. If my co-workers are fortunate, maybe they have an empty bedroom that they can isolate in for two weeks. Maybe they have a friend who has also returned home to family and will let you stay in his empty apartment. Hey, as the weather gets warm, maybe some can even sleep in their cars to get avoid infecting their loved ones. My hospital has recently announced discounted hotel rates at major Manhattan hotels- so, these caregivers can cough up the extra bucks (again, pun intended) as a backwards punishment of being exposed, even though it was completely out of their control? And they wonder why we’re asking for hazard pay.
Do you understand how detrimental all of this is?
By denying your own hospital staff proper PPE, you literally are pushing soldiers into a warzone without any armor or weapons. How could you possibly expect them to do their duties? The dire- and I mean, dire, need for PPE could not be any simpler.
In a few weeks, I will be stepping into the warzone myself- the Emergency Room. I made this decision a few months ago, before COVID-19 sprang out of its infancy. As I try to prepare myself mentally, physically, and emotionally, I cannot help but focus on the cascade of problems that confront us every day that seem to be setting us up for complete destruction. I’d like to look at this more positively, but there are just so many issues that just pile on top of one another. One thing is for sure- we all need to be kind to one another right now. Because, if you think it’s bad right now, trust me- it’s going to get worse- very, very soon.
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